Step One
Get in touch with what you want to change including the belief, the physcial sensations and the emotions. Make a note of the intensity of the sensations on a 0 to 10 scale with 10 being the worst, strongest possible.
Step Two
Identify the beliefs held by the survival brain and those of the rational brain. When you are able to do so, realize that you are of two minds: the rational mind and the irrational mind. One part may realize that it makes no sense to be yelling at a driver who is not only out of hearing distance but out of sight as well. The other part strongly believes it is still in danger and needs to defend itself and fight to the finish even though the enemy is no longer there.
Step Three
Hold out your left hand and imagine the survival brain is located in the palm of that hand. You might even picture it as an animal or a child depending upon the nature of the issue. Express the beliefs held in that hand out loud, exaggerating them and using the colorful emotional language of the survival brain animated by all the animal emotionalism. The wording would be something like this:
Even though this part of me believes that I need to punish that jerk, bring him to his knees for cutting in front of me, bash his car in so he can never drive again and that it protects me to keep thinking about him and how much I hate him, .....
Now hold out the right hand, imaging the calm, rational adult brain sitting in that right palm and express out loud the calm and rational thinking something which might go something like this:
Another part of me realizes that the driver is gone and the only one I am harming with holding onto this anger is myself, that my heart can slow down so I can think more clearly and not react out of this fear but let it go and enjoy the ride. I understand that the other part of me (the left hand) thinks it is trying to protect me, but I know I am safer when I can think clearly and it is okay to let this go.
Step Four
When you have expressed this as clearly as you feel you want to do, place the palm of your right hand on your forehead and the palm of the left hand at the base of the skull. Hold them there with the intention of sending energy into the frontal lobe area, activating it and then connecting that part of the brain with the hind brain to calm it down. Notice the thoughts, emotions and body sensations that you are experiencing as you do this. It is important that you accept them all and not condemn them. Remember “What you resist, persists”.
Step Five
If you feel totally calm and at peace with the situation and your reactions you can stop here. If the issue is a significant one for you, this may not happen that quickly. If that is the case, move to one of the Energy Psychology Techniques. My favorite is a variation on the Touch and Breathe technique. In this method
- Begin by identifying the thoughts, the emotions and the body sensations you are experiencing.


- Place your fingers in the hollows on the sides of both eyes hold them there as long as you feel anything change.
- Once there is no more change, place your fingers in the spot under the collarbone and hold for about 30 seconds.
- Then move your fingers to the area under the eye on the cheek bones. Notice thoughts, emotions and body sensations. Hold and wait for a change again.
- When you cannot feel anything moving, go back to the collarbone spots again and hold there for 30 seconds.
- Then move to the spots on the beginning of the eyebrows and repeat the process as you did for the other two spots.
- Additional spots which can be added are
These are points along the meridians and correspond to different emotional states or blockages. You may find that you feel at peace after holding only a few of these points and if you do, you can stop there. At various points along the way, check the intensity levels.