The Story of the Two Wolves

A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt.......

He said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart.

One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one.   The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one."

The grandson asked him, "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?"

The grandfather answered, "The one I feed."

Psychological Reversals

The Blocks to Healing

   This sounds so simple.  So why don't we just stop feeding the angry, violent wolf?  Echkart Tolle in the New Earth tells us to let go of the "Pain Body" and that sounds so simple.  But sometimes the "Pain Body" just won't cooperate and go away.  

We aren't crazy or bad.  There are several really good reasons for this.  For one thing, there is the "survival brain" or "hind brain" that believes whatever we are feeling is needed for our survival.  Our logical mind may try to intervene but the hind brain is very resistant at times to intervention. 

Another aspect of our resistance comes under the heading of Psychological Reversals or, what I call, the Blocks to Healing.  These are beliefs that come from childhood experiences and from the primitive brain.  They primarily relate to safety, deserving and possibility.

The safety block is the belief that we must remain vigilant to be safe and any relaxation of this vigilance can and will result in disaster.  If you  hold this belief (at the unconscious, conscious or physical level) any attempt to lower the fear level (or anger) will increase the emotion rather than calm it down. 

The deservedness block is the belief that we are bad and don't deserve to be calm, happy, at peace.  When this is activated any attempt to lessen the pain will also increase it.  Many childhood experiences contribute to this one and sometimes, unfortunately religious teachings can reinforce the "not deserving" block.   Another aspect of this belief is that someone else is not deserving of forgiveness.  If this is present we remain angry long past the original event, make ourselves physically ill with our anger and refuse to get it that the primary one we are harming is ourselves.

The belief that this is not possible is also a block to healing which sometimes has some unique aspects.  We may believe that whatever the method is that is being used will not work but more commonly and more powerfully, we may believe that the method will not work for us.  This belief tends to include the block that "nothing works for me".

When these beliefs are present, if they are not addressed, nothing works. 

And, in fact, the situation may get worse. 

One example of this is the case of "road rage". Sam is driving to work and a car cuts in front of him.  Sam has to hit his brakes and is startled.  His heart rate increases and his breathing quickens.  The other car moves on and is out of sight.  Sam is no longer in danger, but does his physical reaction then stop?  No.  He continues to feel the adrenalin rush, swear at the other driver (who is long gone and can’t hear him), recall other incidents with other drivers, and in every way keep himself angry, charged up and ready to fight.  If Sam’s rational brain, or a passenger with Sam, were to tell Sam to calm down, well you can imagine how he would react.

Or a housewife and mother finds herself angry at her husband, snapping at him for no particular reason because of a behavior he exhibited five years earlier and is sorry for having done.  His behavior was experienced as a threat originally and the hind brain continues to experience it even though it is well past and her anger only creates new problems.  Furthermore, she holds onto the belief that he does not deserve her forgiveness or to be happy.  So whatever attempts he makes to connect with her increase her anger.

In all of these cases a therapist may point out to the person that their reactions do not fit the situation.  However, the odds are good that having this pointed out will not change things, at least not quickly.   Eckert Tolle refers to these responses as part of the “Pain Body” which he describes as responding from another time to something in the present.  He suggests we stop and be in the “Now” which is very good advice.  However, if these blocks exist, getting to the present moment may not only be difficult but impossible without some intervention.  This is where ENERGY PSYCHOLOGY and CYM come to the rescue.